Emma-Bear

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hello

You: Hello, Sir/Madam, How are you on this lovely day/night?

Stranger: im good how are you do sir/madam?

You: I am a madam, and fine. Thank you.

Stranger: good to hear.

Stranger: how was your day?

Stranger: im a Sir

You: Hm, I bet you are an elderly man, maybe above the age of 50?

Stranger: lol no.

Stranger: are you?

You: Good that.

You: No.

Stranger: take another guess at my age ;)

Stranger: i guess you are either 18 or you are 25’s

You: Well, I assure you that I am not a ten year old, nor am I 30

Stranger: xD

You: Are you 78, perhaps?

Stranger: LOL

Stranger: no Ma’m

You: Good that :3

Stranger: do you go to school?

You: By the way, you spelled ma’am incorrectly. :) And why, yes I do

Stranger: what if i have an accent and that was going for the accent not the spelling ;)

You: It does not make a difference. Well are you British or Southern?

Stranger: lol

Stranger: are those the only two that have an accent

You: No, just the two that use “Ma’am” ;)

Stranger: military uses Ma’am too and maybe i just say it funny

You: Well, then, you must be a very funny person, aren’t you?

Stranger: i dont mean it in a funny way.

Stranger: but i have been told i am funny

You: Ay, I’m just messing with you

Stranger: so are you around 25?

You: Maybe ;)

Stranger: lol

Stranger: must be close but not on the dot

You: Are you still 78? :P

Stranger: Mmmm

Stranger: nope im growing younger…. its a curious case, just like a Benjamin Button

You: Intrestin.

Stranger: very

Stranger: the Doc’s cant figure out whats going on with me

You: I’m sure they can’t, that is very curious

Stranger: LOL

Stranger: indeed its even got a monkey named George baffled

You: Now, who the hell is this “George” Monkey fellow, you speak of?

Stranger: are you pulling my leg right now?

Stranger: xD

You: Indeed we are, sir. ;D

Stranger: we.. more than one of you behind that computer screen?

You: Hm, if you’d like to think that, then sure ;)

Stranger: mmk

Stranger: well since i know you go to school and i know you are around 25. then you are in college. so my next question is what are you going to school for?

Stranger: brb

You: Guess how many of us there are. And who said we were in college? Who said we were around 25?

Stranger: back

Stranger: good poitn

Stranger: point*

Stranger: i guess you never said you were around 25.. okay so you are younger than that. i would say wither freshman or sophmores in high school. and i would there is 2 of you judging by your typing.

You: Rats! You’ve foiled our odd-ball plot to achieve total world domination! D:<

Stranger: i never said i would stop you ;) just dont forget about me when you get to the top

You: Why, so?

Stranger: are you asking me why i wont stop you?

You: Absolutely not!

You: Good god..

Stranger: good!

Stranger: do you come on omegle and do this lil thing a lot?

You: Well, sure. ;)

Stranger: not exaclty an answer

You: Of course that is. I don’t know what you are talking about!

You: Does you mother come on Omegle and do her thing a lot?

Stranger: lol

Stranger: i was talking to your mom yesterday actually

You: Really? We actually have two mothers. What did they say to you? We very much hope that they did not complain about menopause to you.

Stranger: i know you do i talked to both of them at the same time cus they were on the comp together like you r now.

Stranger: they didnt complain about menopause only about there teen daughters not spending enough time doing school work and always being on there phone/computer

You: We are on Spring Break, Einstein. Now why the hell would our mothers be on their computers together? They have never even met each other. Give me your chicken nuggets!

Stranger: u only think they dont know each other. and just cus your on spring break doesnt mean last semester you were always doing school work…. Einstein. its not all about here and now

You: Just give me all your damn chicken nuggets! Please put them in a trash bag and mail them to my third mother.

Stranger: puts the lotion in the basket!

You: I do not want your pedophile sex lotion in my mail box!

Stranger: lol obviously u have never seen the movie that line is from

You: Damn right, sir!

You: What movie do you speak of?

Stranger: Joe Dirt

You: That sounds very unintelligent. I am satisfied that I turned down the opportunity to view that particular motion picture. :)

Stranger: lol

Stranger: its probably before your time and to mature for your audience

You: Describe “To mature”?

You: You also spelled too incorrectly. :)

Stranger: im also typing on a computer where u use slang.. like “u” its all about being fast not correct

Stranger: to mature as in over 13 ;)

You: We happen to be over 13, sir ;)

You: We assure you

Stranger: i know you are thats y i put the ;)

You: So, I was correct in assuming that you are in fact a pedophile?

Stranger: how did you come to that conclusion?

You: Well, you said that the so-called “Joe Dirt” was ahead of our time, so I can assume that you are implying that you are of a higher age than the age you presume us to be. Also, you originally assumed that we were of the college-bound age or slightly above. So, I can conclude that you must be of the same age.Therefore, due to the fact that you are trying to appear textually attractive, even though we have admitted to only being of the high school or minor age, you must be a pedophile.

Stranger: when did i say i was in college?

You: You did not. It was implied by the assumption that we were.

Stranger: you know what they say about assuming right

You: Your mother knew after I explained it to her the other evening.

Stranger: revert back to the mother jokes when you have nothing else… nice touch ;)

You: Thank you… Your mother was a hampster.

You: *Hamster

You: Guess what your father smelt of.

Stranger: whats that?

You: Good Lord… if all of societies children are like you, then we shall surely perish!

You: Your lack of knowledge suits you.

Stranger: thank you

Stranger: just because you throw big words together doesnt make you sound smart. only dumber when you use them incorrectly…

You: You sound dumber when you let your failure at grammar slip away from you.

Stranger: lol

You: That didn’t come out quite correctly.

You: No matter, you understand my intentions!

You: *shakes fist*

Stranger: yes i do understand. your intentions are to take over the world. that was, until i foiled your plan

You: Indeed. :)

You: Our plans are truly foiled. However, we will most definitely forget you. Have no worries, dear!

Stranger: thats not part of the plan!!

You: Oh is it not? I was under the impression that you were to disappear for the rest of eternity along with all others who rebel!

Stranger: who said i was rebelling?

You: Indeed you are! In fact, you have no idea of the magnitude of which you are revolting, sir! It does truly break our hearts to have you burned at the stake.

Stranger: please masta, dont burn me at the steak

You: Do not worry. The afterlife I hear of is very forgiving. Filled with clay and evil, dark mistresses of the Underworld, and such. Beautiful, yes?

Stranger: that sounds….

Stranger: HORRIBLE

You: Precisely, my dear. ^_^

Stranger: :(

Stranger: i dont know if i like you being leader of the world

You: Well, no person ever completely agrees with any leader of the world at any given point in time, now do they?

Stranger: nope

You: It is in your nature to rebel. Obviously not in mine. That is why I am too preoccupied with overtaking the Earth.

Stranger: i guess i will just have to stop you with my Jedi powers… its to bad i liked you

You: Us, dear. You love us, still. *uses hypnotic powers to convince Jedi impersonator that he has no will power left, and must bow down or face certain doom!*

Stranger: Jedis can not be sued by your puny powers. dont make me take my lightsaber out….

You: I believe you meant to say “subdued”. Not “sued”. Unless of course you have a Jedi lawyer who will also use his Jedi powers to withstand our mystical powers.

You: Which I doubt is possible, even considering that lawyers are not so easily swayed.

Stranger: nope sued

You: So, you are taking this to court. Well, I must inform you that the court refuses to hear your case. Why? Well, because we have already taken over your government, and destroyed your courthouses! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!

Stranger: not my courthouse run by me in my gov.

You: This government must be located on Alpha Centauri because I have no knowledge of it! HAHA! I am betting that you do not understand why that presumption was so hilarious.

You: I am also betting that at this moment you are Googling Alpha Centauri because you have no knowledge of it.

Stranger: no im actually not even looking at this conversation until i start typing lol

You: I’m sure you are, troglodyte.

Stranger: u know me